349 Community Building

349 Community Building

How we choose to spend our time directly impacts the way we live both in our careers and in our day to day lives, however if we are spending our precious time surrounding ourselves with negativity and naysayers we are very unlikely to succeed. Which is why it is so important to find a community that encourages and supports each other.

In this episode Sarah Elkins ruminates on the path that led her to success and satisfaction, the importance of the individuals that helped her along the way, and the community they built.

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Highlights

• Identifying paths and the advocates who encourage you and see the best in you.

• What is your role? And are you in a place that helps you thrive in that role?

• Belonging and inclusion.

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Quotes

“There’s no way I could’ve known this path before I took any of the steps on it. Some people know what they want to do at a very young age, I was not one of those people. What I did have, and continue to have, are people in my life who believe in me, who often see more in me than I see in myself.” 

“Feeling so supported and valued, changed the way I spend my precious time and energy.”

“Remember you can’t really build community if you don’t allow and encourage others to contribute. And that means you can’t always be the one giving, you have to be someone who can ask for help and receive it with grace.”

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Dear Listeners it is now your turn,

I encourage you to take time this week to consider who is in your circle. Do you have a diverse group of friends and colleagues who support and encourage you? Who ask you the hard questions, and who believe in you, sometimes more than you believe in yourself? Are you that person to others and do you receive that help with grace? If you can’t jot down at least 3 names off the top of your head, you might have some work to do. Here’s one idea to help you find and nurture that community: Look back at the times in your life that you felt confident, when you felt like you were contributing, when you felt like you were contributing and found satisfaction in the work you were doing. Now look for local activities where you are likely like hearted, not like minded necessarily but like hearted people. Maybe that’s joining a book club, spending time at the library or a local bookstore, getting outside for walks -hikes-, or maybe take a walking tour of your community, if you’re feeling really brave maybe it’s time to join us at our next No Longer Virtual Summit. 

And, as always, thank you for listening. 

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About Sarah

"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."

In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.

My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.

The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!

Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.

Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!

Episode 97: Your Identity is Created by the Stories You Share

Family Narratives Can Impact Your Identity - For Better or For Worse

Dr. Kate McLean

Dr. Kate McLean was raised by a man who loved to share stories. Her father is a master storyteller, entertaining family and friends for hours with his sense of humor and insights. It’s not surprising that Kate found herself compelled by the narratives she heard in her first research position, focused on attachment theory in human development and psychology. She was so touched by the trust of people sharing their most intimate memories and experiences, that she knew her area of focus would revolve around the impact of telling those stories on the people sharing them and on the people hearing them.

Some of her colleagues focus their research on early childhood narrative, Kate’s area of interest revolves more around the transformative years between young adulthood and adulthood, roughly 17 - 22 years old.

She finds that the stories parents and caregivers share about their children in front of them, can have positive and negative effects in terms of their relationship, and how the young adult moves through those transformative years.

If the stories a parent or caregiver share about the young adult’s childhood don’t fit how that young adult sees themselves and how they are transforming into adulthood, conflict develops between them, and the transformation can become stilted.

On the other hand, if the narrative continues to resonate with the young adult, it may help them move forward with confidence in their identity as they move into adulthood.

Our conversation took some twists and turns, one thing that struck me was our mutual respect and admiration for those who share their stories with us. When someone chooses to trust you with their most intimate memories, we must respect that story and the person sharing it.

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Learn more about Dr. McLean’s work, and check out her book, The Co-Authored Self.

Kate C. McLean, Professor of Psychology at Western Washington University, was trained in Developmental and Personality Psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz (Ph.D., 2004). Her research focuses on adolescent and emerging adult identity development. She is on the governing council for the Society for the Study of Emerging Adulthood, and is an Associate Editor for the Journal Personality and Social Psychology: PPID. She teaches courses in Developmental and Personality Psychology, as well as research methods. She currently serves as the Director for the Center for Cross-Cultural Research at WWU.